Put this in your face hole- Bastardette's Whiskey Sour.

It's my first blog post ever, so naturally booze is involved!

The whiskey sour. Favorite drink of...somebody important, probably. As they say, it's an "oldie, but a goodie." I recently learned that when a cocktail has the word "sour" in it, it means citrus is involved. Neat! Unfortunately, I hate ordering whiskey sours at bars. I know what you're thinking, but I have reasons. When they ask what kind of whiskey I want, I KNOW I'm supposed to pick something good, but not too good. If I ask for the whiskey I really want (Maker's Mark, homies) I feel like a big jerk who ruins deliciously smokey, barrel aged bourbon with my dumb cocktail. The big reason I hate ordering them, is that they don't. Always. Add. The cherry. WHISKEY SOURS NEED BOOZE FRUIT. IT'S THE LAW. Yes, I know I can just ask for some, but I'm too socially awkward for that so I just suck it up.

So here's the Bastardette version that I occasionally make for myself in the judgement free zone of my own kitchen. No, it's not a pure whiskey sour, and no, I don't care.

Here's what you need:

1)Maraschino cherries. (These are #1. THEY'RE THAT IMPORTANT.)

2)Whiskey of choice.
3)Limes and/or lemons. (I prefer limes. Judgement free zone, remember?)
4) Clementines or oranges.

* Side note: Other recipes call for simple syrup. If you're someone with the time or motivation to make this, have at it. I am not that someone.

Step 1. Put ice in your frosty glass. Add booze. I'm not one for measuring.

Step 2. Squeeze TWO WHOLE LIMES in that puppy. Or a lemon, if that floats your boat.

Step 3. Slice off a wedge of clementine (supposedly for garnish, but actually for soaking up whiskey).  Squeeze in the rest of it, and add your non-negotiable cherries. Booze fruit!

Hypothetically, you could stop here, or add your simple syrup that you made if you're an overachiever who likes washing dishes. 

Step 4. Here's the bastardette part. Drizzle in some of the cherry juice from your maraschino cherries. I figure it's basically simple syrup anyway. This will turn it pink. People may sneer, and that's ok because they're probably the same people who don't like pink starbursts, and therefore they are not
your friends.

Happy boozin'!