Saturday, August 8, 2015

Stuff My Dad Likes (An Important Article on Dad Consumerism) - Pt 1: Coffee

As my father patiently waits for the foam of his guinness to settle into a frothy crown, he imparts this bit of wisdom.

"There are few things in life that are so completely and utterly satisfying. How often do you buy something that you are 100% happy with?" 

He's talking about this thermos.

Dad gave me my first Genuine Brand travel thermos as a gift when I got accepted into Art School.

(Have you seen this movie? It is PAINFULLY accurate.)

"Take this. You'll need it." He said, knowing that he'd just handed me the key to academic success.

(Shown above: Academic Success.)

That mug went everywhere with me. It fit snugly into my messenger bag along with Contemporary Art History notes and palette knives. My three hundred dollar book on the Northern Renaissance was never in danger of becoming soggy, because my thermos never once spilled its contents. My thermos was often streaked with color, traces of the glorious struggle between painter and substrate. It could easily be wiped clean. I never had to experience the awful surprise of tepid coffee, because my thermos laughed at the very idea of room temperature. My thermos saw every lecture. Once, I knocked it from my tiny college sized desk and time stood still. People gasped, but thermos remained loyal to me, and not a drop escaped.

Now that I'm out of school and something of a homebody, this is my mug of choice. The International Endurance Stainless Steel Double Walled Beer Mug.

Pretty sexy, huh? If you're wondering "who cares, it's just a mug," SHUT UP BECAUSE YOU'RE WRONG. This mug will ruin all others. No, you can't microwave it, but it doesn't matter because your hot coffees and teas will stay that way for hours. Your cold drinks will thank you too. See how it says "beer" in the title? That's because this mug is a goddamn miracle. You may as well throw the others out, because they are worthless by comparison. Others will attempt to use your mug. Tell them to piss off and buy their own. Then finish your coffee, because you're grumpy without it.

To go with my mug, I've often been the lucky recipient of this:

Mystic Monk coffee beans are grown, dried and roasted by Carmelite Monks in Wyoming. I might not be religious, but I find it impossible not to be completely charmed by the idea of robed little Gregor Mendels living humbly, contemplating their faith, and making coffee. (Yeah Gregor Mendel was an Augustinian monk, not Carmelite. Humor me.) It may just be good marketing on their end, but whether or not the picture they paint is accurate...

Try the Cowboy Blend. Throw some of this in while you're at it.

If that's not pure Dad wisdom, then I don't know what is.

Link bomb:

Stainless Steel Mug

Mystic Monk Coffee

Thermos Travel Mug

St Brendan's Irish Cream

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